tirsdag den 8. oktober 2013

Lost, but moving forward!

I have this feeling, it's a lot of emotions at once ... It is frustrating. I do not feel like myself...

Mostly I'm happy, but the feeling is there all the time. Some days are worse then others.. Maybe it's because I have many things in my head .. I don´t know. Should I seek help? It is not because I have suicidal thoughts, more because I just don´t know and that I need a push..
 
I feel a like I'm stuck and that I´m not moving forward while the days just goes by...I need something so I can move forward!!!New haiecut, new style, a new way I can go, something new ?


There are so many things I really want and I do have the opportunity, but I´m just sitting and doing nothing.. And then I get mad at myself I should just do it ...I´m considering to make a plan of what I want, but when I try to write something I just can´t get anything down on paper...

Just feeling lost or something ... I'm Sure not the only one who feel this way...It's probably a teenage thing..

We gotta live, and yeah there will be days we struggling, but sometime in the end It will be okay.We just need to do what we want! And try to think positively ;)I´m gonna take one day at the time :D <3<3<3





torsdag den 3. oktober 2013

Dont know who I am??

I do not know who I am ! Do not feel entirely comfortable as I am right now ..

There is so much in my head right now ...

There is always something wrong , I think. I need a break to find out who I am and, what I want and solve all the fucking problems.

First of all , I feel that there are few people who actually likes me , and I love my family but may can not bear to stay with them . My sister at 14 drives me most crazy. She must constantly be so oh and so ihh so clever! As if she knows best ! I'm so tired of it ... And my sister at 8 is just a little annoying brat , yes she may be cute , but she is stubborn and selfish very often.

And then there's the school a girlfriend (or whatever she is ) is driving me crazy , I want to rip her head off shouting and screaming of her. She has evidently become sour or something on me and my other friend , but she does not tell us what is wrong ... So now she is pretty cold to us .. And then she is allways so fucking negative all the time! Trying to ignore it , it's just a little hard when she actually talking to us .. It is confusing, I'm so tired of it !

And there is also that whit another not friend... Although I 'm glad that this friend is no longer in my life, but it's a bit sad that I have to lose another friend and also something of the things she said to me hit me hard. Although I know that it is not true.

And then another thing that I have a hard time with it , it is moving home to my father ,cause I really can´t stand to live whit my sisteres anymore, plus I would like to have a better relationship with my father..

And the I have this annoying feeling that I'm stuck in between mom and dad. Mom she  hold her hand very tit around me. I feel like I cant do the what I want, and it is only her words thers is right and sometimes she says thing she not think I should say to the father. And it's confusing!

Ohh and then just some good things. After all this problem I had whit my ex boyfriend is over. I have let go and rejected him, so it's alot better now. And then start most of my series again , it's a good thing except that I saw is wildly lazy and do not come into fitness. Plus my illness also prevented it right in this month .. I would so like to lose me, but for some reason I have a really hard time getting started .

My life sucks frankly at the moment and I do not know what to do !